(The Cat That Looks Like Adam Driver, who plays Kylo Ren, in Star Wars)
By Katniss, Cat Reporter, reporting for The Catnip Times
KATNISS: First of all, let me congratulate you on getting out of the shelter and adopted into a fabulous mew home. In every photo, you look so happy meow! But you can’t seriously be that blissful all the time. Do you, like your namesake, every throw big hissy fits? Do you knock stuff off the counter in a fit of rage if you don’t get your way?
KYLO: Thank you! I love it here. I have lots of toys and get lots of rubs, and whenever I want to sleep there’s always at least one lap available. When the lights go out, though, I do have a bit of a “dark side.” I love to lay on my mom’s whole face and drag her belts out of the closet and leave them in the kitchen. I have also been accused of being a little mouthy when I don’t get my way, and my humans have to console me when I don’t get my favorite gravy-lovers wet food.
KATNISS: So you don’t ever consider tossing your new Humom or father into the space station’s pit… or, um, off the couch or something?
KYLO: If anything, I want to toss them ONTO the couch. More than anything I love sitting on someone and having my head scratched, but sometimes my new family has to do things like go to work or give their little human a bath. I can’t say that I support any of these activities that don’t involve constantly paying attention to me, but I like following people around and seeing what the humans are up to. Especially the little human. Do you know that sometimes he just sits in a giant tub of water AND THEY JUST LEAVE HIM THERE! That’s crazy! But I really love my new home and all its humans. Back when I was in the shelter, this is exactly the life all my friends and I would dream about having.
KATNISS: There is a history of Internet cats being named after evil characters – Lil Adolf (@liladolf on IG), Gus Fring (@omgdeedee on IG) and now you, Kylo Ren. How does it feel sharing the name of an evil tyrant when you – like the others – are nothing more than a loveable pussycat?
KYLO: I don’t really believe in nominative determinism–I am my own cat. I love the Star Wars universe, especially their Yoda mouse toys and their tie fighter cat teaser, so it’s really an honor just to be a part of that universe.
KATNISS: Rumor has it that you are a former show cat. Purebred, ribbons, the whole thing.
KYLO: Much like my namesake, I did have an aristocratic upbringing, rebelled against my parents, and came into my own halfway across the universe. I did spend some time on the show circuit, but it wasn’t for me. I don’t always get along with other kitties, and those shows are ALL other kitties. I use to be a real diva, but the great people at the Monmouth county SPCA really did a lot to socialize me and turn me into the friendly boy I am today. They really stepped up for me and I owe them a lot. Just read about my journey through the universe of adoptions and you’ll appreciate what I’ve gone through.
KATNISS: I myself came from a shelter, so I know what it’s like to worry you’ll never find a purrmanent home. What do you have to say to other shelter cats?
KYLO: First, a shout out to my boys Batman and Bumblebee–much love–and to Billy the Kitty and that handsome handlebar mustache of his. I wish all of them the best, and hope they all find good homes. My shelter was full of other adorable and friendly kitties who need love and support, and my shelter has been going through some lean times recently. I’d love it if any of your readers would go to their page and take a look at some of my friends, or even offer a donation to help other kitties like me.
More Star Wars cats…
Amazing Doppelgänger Cats – Cats that share an amazing resemblance to humans.